Anger management: Learning to control anger in a healthier way!
“There are 4 things in life which you can’t take back. An arrow once it is shot, a word after it’s spoken, an action when it is done & the time once it is passed” — Anon
Anger is a natural response of our mind towards unpleasant situations, circumstances, people, etc. It’s an emotion. Experiencing Anger means we are normal, healthy individual who can experience all sorts of emotions.
This negative emotion is not always bad, it can sometimes be a positive one too. Angry feelings might motivate us to stand up for injustice or challenge ourselves to achieve a certain goal in life. It becomes harmful when it is not managed properly and leads to aggressive/violent behavior that hurt others’ feelings.
Learning how to manage anger properly is a skill that everyone needs to understand and master. But before we discuss how can we master this skill, let’s get to know what anger management is and isn’t?
Anger management doesn’t mean we should never get angry, that’s impossible. Instead, it involves learning how to recognize, cope with, and express our anger in a healthy and productive way.
People who are suffering from depression due to family problems, failure in career / jobs / education, etc are more likely to get angry easily even in trivial matters. They are so blinded by their own mental issues that they fail to see how it is affecting the people around them.
To learn more on “How your depression and Anger might be related” check this article:
My personal experience in managing the anger issues
Anger management is one of the skills which I had been trying to learn all my life but I fail each time. Being a short/hot-tempered woman myself, I find it almost impossible to control my temper. I often tend to make terrible/poor choices in life during those ugly, angry moments.
“I feel as if the devil is controlling my speech/actions and my entire being during that moment. I become almost like a devil’s puppet and fail to differentiate between good and bad”. — Nirja
Thus, I am writing this blog to help myself and for everyone who wants to learn to manage their anger in a healthier way.
Tips for Anger Management
- Take a break / walk away from the heated argument: Remember that people who try to win arguments, lose friends. Walk away before you explode. Few moments of silence, peace, and alone time will help you to come to your senses and might bring you lots of realizations.
- Indulge yourself in a fun activity: Whether it’s listening to music or watching a comedy show or whatever that you like doing; do it. Once your brain is occupied then the mind starts to cool down.
- Talk with a friend: Express your thoughts with a trusted friend. They might be able to provide you with constructive advice, help you to develop a solution, or see the circumstances in a clearer perspective so that you can get practical insights.
- Exercise: Exercise is a great stress reliever. The adrenaline rush helps to destress yourself and improve your mood.
- Perform Breathing exercise or meditation: Count from 1–10 or 100 and repeat until you cool down. You can also practice guided meditation to calm your mind and body.
- Explore your feelings: Taking a moment to get in touch with your feelings will help you to become calm. Ask yourself these questions:
- What made you angry? Whose fault was it?
- Were you able to manage your Anger properly?
- How important is that person, the one who fueled your anger? Is your anger worth more than your relationship/friendship?
- Are you experiencing any depressions or frustrations in life?
Conclusion
Learning to manage anger in the right way is a lifelong process in which you get better, the more you practice it. I have not been good with managing my anger either but I definitely want to learn.
“No matter what, never speak hurtful words in anger. Your personality is reflected by your speech, actions and the way you handle the stressful situations.” – Nirja
Responding in anger doesn’t help you accomplish anything rather than push people away. If you are unable to do any of these and feel that the anger is taking over your life then don’t hesitate to take professional help from a psychologist.
Stay happy & safe !!!
